Satan’s Parrot

“I’m sending you to Earth on a special mission,” said Satan to his Parrot.
“I don’t know the way,” replied the Parrot from inside his cage that hung from the smouldering ceiling like a medium sized cathedral.
“Go to heaven, turn left keep going for a bit and you’re there,” replied the Devil to his lifelong friend.
“What do you want me to do when I get there?
“Wipe out the human race then come straight back. And don’t you worry about me I’ve got an apache helicopter to put in your cage while you’re away.”

The Parrot came to Earth; humans were amazed by his colour. He was red as a million rubies stuck together with the blood of Red Indians. The whites of his eyes were red. The white stems of his feathers were red. 30 metres tall with a hundred-metre wingspan and a 5 metre long penis. He gritted his beak and left an unspeakable trail of devastation behind him. He completed his task with in a week. The Earth fell silent as a full stop. Then he returned to hell.