Half day

On my half day I woke up to find I had been cut perfectly in half, thankfully it was the right half of my body that was missing, which meant I still had my heart, and my left hand and foot.
I half struggled out of half of my bed, put half my clothes on and ate half a bowl of cornflakes with half a spoon. I half watched half the television from half of the sofa whilst drinking half a cup of tea. I half left half my house, whilst half a crow flew overhead. It half began to hail, the hailstones were sharp as daggers as they too had been cut in half, cutting half my umbrella half to shreds. When 1 o’clock came around I became whole and went to work.