You’ve never valued anything so much that so many others have handled.

Coins from 1982, the Queen on that coin has seen so much she can’t even look you in the face. She won’t. She will look at you on the notes as they have never seen as much and more often than not they are used for better things. If the Queen was looking at you on the coins, her nose would stick out and we couldn’t have that. Her nose making holes in our pockets. She’s ashamed of what she’s seen, the pockets she’s been in, the things she’s been used for, drug deals, porno magazines, knives, curtains that she knows won’t go with carpets, alcohol that has given somebody the courage to commit suicide and the rope as well. When coins meet face to face in wallets the cloned Queens cannot help but shed a tear. The Queen wears a morbid expression on the coins. Imagine your age being detailed on a coin, the wrinkles. Does the Queen keep the same hairstyle so they don’t have to keep changing the coins? That can’t be very nice for her. If she got a MAWHAWK maybe they would have to make all coins the size of 50 pence pieces.